JOE DONE, MARY SUE COUNSELOR
by Morpholomew
Summary: This is the story of Joe Done, Mary Sue Counselor - he is also a detective -  and the case of the missing T-Rex. Shortfic, beginning of a new series.


_**JOE DONE, MARY SUE COUNSELOR,**_

_**AND THE CASE OF THE MISSING T-REX**_

**(he's also a detective)**

Dull brown eyes were batted slowly as he looked down on the sniffing heap before him. His lips were pressed tightly and he resisted the urge to sigh that had been cropping up inside of him. Instead, he just let it stay with some headshaking as he turned around and moved back to his seat in the dimly lit room. Then the sigh came instinctively. "Alright, let's continue with your story."

The girl raised her head. She was beautiful, he had to give her that, even with a tear-stricken face. Her make-up hadn't even gone runny from her crying or perhaps she wasn't wearing make-up at all and those rosey cheeks and shaded eyes were naturally a part of her. Perhaps her nails even were naturally a dual shade of blue and green in patterns that resembled a tree in spring against a bright, clear sky. That's how it went with these girls he met and had to deal with in his line of work. He stared into her silver eyes - they had been green just before. Stifling another sniff, she opened her mouth to speak.

"My name is Melindiana Donna Joneson, I'm fourteen years and five months old, but I already have a doctorate in Archaeology, found three full T-rex skeletons in Egypt, one I animated with my magical powers." She smiled for a bit, momentarily bringing into view a sparkle of white teeth. "His name was Sparky Luvvertoothies." "Yes, you told me this already." He said, frustrated. "You were about to tell me what happened regarding his disappearance." She sadfaced a bit more while she pondered some. He just stared back intently. She had come to him, so she should let him do his job properly and answer some damn questions! He couldn't work with just half a story after all, especially since he made most of his money by getting published in the newspapers with every finished case!

He grumbled a bit. _Stop with that damn sadfacing so I can stop making up words for the range of emotional expressions you weird chicks have!_ Then, "ah!" _Good god in heaven, I thank you. At least this one is easier to deal with and her vocabulary isn't so… MSN-y._ "Well," she re-started yet again, "I last saw him in the big room I gave him with all the big fluffy pillows. I had just gone out of the room for a couple of minutes to get a big juicy bone for my puppy T-rex and when I came back… he was just… just…!" He could count down from three to zero on the dot to see when she'd start bawling again. He was spot-on as always. He almost felt like he was one of them with how skillful he had gotten, but on the other hand was a single fact: their 'perfectness factor' was just too high. All he lacked was a device to actually measure it.

In his head a process of the "SIGH? Y/N" kind went on again. Selecting N, he straightened his position a bit and then leaned in. "And you… you're telling me you want me, a counselor, to find your puppysaurus for you?" OH GOD WHY DID HE HAVE TO SAY THAT. Instantly the room lit up as did Melindiana's face, her smile beaming and her golden eyes sparkling like the full zodiac was dancing in them and it was so bright his skin felt like it was slowly frying and turning into hotdogs! "Oh, science, yes! Yes mister, please do! Sparky Luvvertoothies can't be away from me for too long or he will die of heartache and I would not be able to stand that! Ever! I'd cry for at least twelve hours and then miraculously forget about him and move on and find three more complete T-rex skeletons!"

Right. His mind selected Y and as the sigh left his lips he waved his hand. "Off you go then, miss. I already have your phone number, so I will contact you once I am done with the case." The girl got up quickly, her face no longer teary - he didn't even see any tissues anymore - gave a small bow and moved out the door. He waited for ten seconds after her footsteps had died away, then ten more just to make sure, before he made a move and opened the small door to the cabinet on his right that was a part of his desk. A scratchy noise met him, but he shushed it with soft whispers. "Don't worry, she's gone, you can come out lil' fella."

He smiled as the bony figure came out. In a way, he was almost cute. "Now, I don't really like your full name, but if you're gonna stick around, just calling you Sparky won't be bad, right?" The creature clacked its jaws together and moved its head. "That's a yes right?" It did the same thing, causing him to chuckle. "I think I'm gonna like having you around." He patted its head a bit. He closed the cabinet door again after Sparky had come out, then turned to look over the papers stacked on his desk - there was work to do, after all. "Well, that was the shortest case I've ever had, no doubt about it…"

**Note**: Yes, this was short. It probably won't have a second chapter here either, since it was just written up quickly on the go. I'm thinking of writing shortfic sequels with other sorts of Mary Sues though, but those would be single chapters dedicated to other fandoms, so if you ever wish to read more of these, don't subscribe to the chapter, but to me as a writer.

(OH MAI I AM SUCH AN ATTENTION HOG)

Anyways, thanks for reading~


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